You broke me

You know i have a million things to say and  right now but I don’t even know what to say or where to Start,one thing I never told you is the first day I saw and we started talking I just knew it was you and you were the right one for me and I promised myself that I would do right by you and I would always be there for you no matter what, and that your happiness and wellbeing would always come first, I fell in love with you even when you hated yourself and made all the wrong choices in your life I still saw you for who you were and who you could be, I wanted to make you better In your own way by being your friend and more than a friend, but unfortunately for you it wasn’t like that, I was just one of your toys, you used me and when you were done with me you started playing victim in every single situation even when you were on the wrong,  do you even know what that did to me? I guess not!! But I will tell you how it felt, It left me with a billion regrets, waking up everyday hating myself for what I had done and trying to see what I could have done differently, that shit broke me down completely and I scattered all over, I can’t even fucking trace myself right now and when I tried to hold on to the one person that I believed was my friend, you pushed me even further away,do you know how it feels when that one person rejects you, it feels like everyone else rejected you.and now you want to pretend you are sorry after all you made me go through and after telling me telling me to never talk to you and bother you and to have a nice life? Like honestly how the fuck am supposed to feel or say, and to make matters worse the first you are telling me is that you pregnant.Do you even know how many times I saw us having a family together, going on vacation with our children, teaching them how to make a kitchen garden  teaching them how to cook, the list is endless, any way am happy for you that you found joy and happiness that I couldn’t give you and am happy that you are pregnant, congrats you will make a great mom I know that for a fact and from the bottom of my heart, and may God bless that child and protect them in their ways. Lastly I still remember my promise and I will honor it, am here if you ever need my help or someone to talk to, otherwise am obeying your orders to let you be.